Training

We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God's training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best.
~ Hebrews 12:9-10 (The Message)

Do you ever have those days where it seems like God basically has to send you to the corner and tell you that it doesn't matter that things seem unfair, it's still the way that it is for reasons that you can't understand? That was my yesterday.

In somewhat two-year-old fashion and without the complete dramatics of major tears and throwing myself on the ground, I basically pitched a fit because I was frustrated and life just seemed unfair. Immature? Absolutely! Did I recognize what it was in the middle? Nope, not really. In fact, if you'd asked me I would have told you that I was just overwhelmed and frustrated and attacked from every side. However, this morning, as I was studying, I realized that it wasn't really that at all. It was really just me, claiming yet again that I deserved better or more or that this perceived unfairness wasn't meant for me. I'm sure it was charming. I'm sure God was thrilled with it.

Not.

The whole thing did teach me something profound though, something that I had known in my head but hadn't fully experienced in my heart. I realized that God doesn't give in to my tantrums. Sounds silly, right? Critical for me though. I needed to be put in my place a bit and I needed to be reminded that God isn't someone I can bully by throwing a fit and yelling. I saw God as a parent yesterday, a parent who loves me more than I'll ever understand and puts up with me even when I'm a brat and one who doesn't change His plans for my life just because I yell about them. He is one who knows better than I and has a reason for the exact place that I'm in. He makes the plans because they are for my good and in following them I really can learn how to best live.

I needed to see that. I needed to go to the corner and repent of my attitude. I needed a time out.

I still don't like waiting. It's still a struggle for me. Today, though, I'm a bit more humbled and a bit more patient and pretty darn sure that God's telling me that I'm in the right place and I need to wait it out. I can fight Him on it or I can submit. After yesterday I think I'll work more on the submission and less on the fight.