Doubt

When the Christian trusts, he is happy; when he doubts, he is miserable. When the believer looks to his Master and relies upon him, he can sing; when he doubts his Master, he can only groan. What miserable wretches the most faithful Christians are when they once begin doubting and fearing! It is a trade I never like to meddle with, because it never pays the expenses, and never brings in any profit —the trade of doubting.
~ Charles Spurgeon

Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
~ Mark 9:24

Doubt is one of those feisty emotions that limits our ability to embrace whatever circumstance we find ourselves in. For at the root of doubt is the question of whether God is trustworthy or not. If that's the primary question that we're asking then it becomes extremely hard to believe that whatever trial we're facing is something that we can and should endure.

I think we try to avoid admitting our doubts to ourselves, others, and our God. We like to pretend that we fully understand how to do this life of faith and that we'd never be ones who took our eyes off our Lord and sank in the waves as Peter did. Wouldn't life be so much easier if we could never doubt or question - if we could wake up each and every day and rest assured that God is indeed one to be trusted? It sounds so nice and it also sounds like something that we'd all like to say we succeed at because, after all, don't all good Christians have this type of faith?

I won't lie to you - I have struggles with doubt. I find myself wondering at times if God is truly, fully capable of doing things in this world. Perhaps it's the hardened heart of a relative or the seemingly unending trial or the fear of the unknown that brings doubt calling. However, these moments are ones that I force myself to face, admit to, and then bring before the Lord. These are the times that find me crying out to the Lord as the man did in Mark. Lord, I doubt, help me in my unbelief.

For, you see, God is always capable, He always cares, He is always sovereign. My doubts are based on feelings and emotions but they're not based on truth. For to question God's ability is to allow myself to listen to the voices of the world that say that my God isn't big enough to handle everything. So when I start to find myself in those moments of doubt, that is when I go back to the truth and I force myself to be honest with God. I don't try to talk myself out of my feelings with long prayers of how I shouldn't doubt. Instead, I confess my doubt and beg the Lord to help me believe.

Funny thing, God answers. In the midst of the doubt there sprouts a hope based on the truth I've committed my life to - the truth that my God is that big! I may still have questions and I may struggle again with the feelings the next day or sometimes the next hour but I am assured in those moments that God is indeed trustworthy. As God reminds me again of His utter trustworthiness I am able to continue standing in the place that He's called me and not falter.

So, even though at times it's an easy hole to fall into, I want to be as Spurgeon says and not meddle in the trade of doubting. For my happiness and joy comes from knowing that my God is indeed bigger than every other thing that might rise up in this world and attempt to shake me up.