Beaten

My goodness it's been one of those days...and it's only 11:35.

Makes me wonder what it would take to get out of work for the rest of the day...vial of plague? sick dog/roommate/squirrel outside the window? brain oozing out from my ears? bursting into tears when someone asks what time it is?

Hmmm...not sure any of those would really work but if I had a card to play, today I think I'd play it.

It's all the result of too much work, too few people, and me scurrying around like a mouse on crack trying to dot all the i's and cross all the t's.

In a word, icky.

I need a laugh and some stress relief and maybe a big hug.

Guess I'll settle for closing down IM so nobody can find me without coming to my office and maybe turning off the lights and just pretending I'm not here.

Such grace under pressure. Or something...

Playing With Photos #2

Well, it's Friday again and I'm on my one short break during a day of hectic scurrying so I thought I'd spend some time in photo world. It's Fix-It Friday over at I ♥ Faces again and here's my attempt to join in the fun:

Original from Angie Arthur:


My playing around with Picnik:


And another:


I definitely enjoy bringing more color into photos but I mostly just play around with it until it looks somewhat natural to me. I like some of the other editor's choices that tone down the color a bit but I'm not sure how to accomplish that with the tools I'm currently using (and the small amount of time I've got). For now, this works for me but I'm thinking that there wasn't a lot that this photo needed anyways...guess that makes for a good challenge! :)

Happy Trust

Do not let this happy trust in the Lord die away, no matter what happens. Remember your reward! You need to keep on patiently doing God's will if you want him to do for you all that he has promised.
~Hebrews 10:35-36 (TLB)

No
Matter
What
Happens

This means always. This means that the situations and circumstances and joy and pain are not capable of eliminating our trust in the Lord. There is nothing outside of us that can force us to lose hope in our God.

Yet in all things we have a choice. We are able to decide that in our case, God can not handle things. We can choose to believe that He is incapable of meeting our needs or hearing our cries or loving us regardless of our sin. We can decide this but our circumstances can't force us to make that decision.

On the flip side, we can also choose to do as this verse says. To focus on what is to come and the promises that await and the eternal hope that God provides. We can choose to align ourselves with this truth and disregard those voices that tell us that God isn't who He says He is. It's not always easy. Our lives are hard. I would never disagree with that, never.

We're not without hope though. We're not without faith. We're not without trust.

May my every moment and conversation and relationship reflect that I believe this to be true with everything I have. Then my happy trust is based on the one thing that will never let me down and my joy is abundant and sincere.

And that's what living can look like.

It's your choice and mine.

ADD

Here it is, 10:47 on Saturday night and I've been sitting at this computer for about five hours trying to finish writing the curriculum for Bible study that was due on THURSDAY!!!!!

I don't know what my deal is. I love the topic, I love the verses, I love the writing. Yet I just can't focus on it long enough to finish it up. I'm banning myself from Facebook until I finish it and it looks like I'm going to have to ban myself from my blog, Bloglines, the TV, the radio, and the phone as well.

I don't know what is making me so ADD today. My head feels like it's got ping-pong balls in it and they're just bouncing back and forth and never settling. I've tried different locations, music on and off, and I've even called friends to ask them to pray. I don't get it.

Would not be at all surprised if God is actually trying to say something and I'm just not hearing it. Not hearing it because my entire focus is on getting this thing in the can so it's ready to roll for tomorrow. Might be missing the forest for the trees here.

Either way, there's my Saturday night frustration. Just thought I'd share. Hope everyone else is having more success in their accomplishments than I am!

Ok, back to it now. Here's hoping!

Playing With Photos #1

Ah, the Internet. As if I need anything else to occupy my time! Yet I found this site, I ♥ Faces, that has a photo-editing challenge every week. Having never ever edited a photo online, I couldn't resist giving it a shot. So, here's what I've got!

Original Picture from Lolli at Life is Sweet:


My first photo-edit using Picnik (another new introduction):
I'm suspecting that I could enjoy playing with this stuff! I'd love to move into the world of more serious photography but am mostly just hacking it out with my little point-and-shoot. Still, I love learning about such things!

Head to I ♥ Faces for more inspiration and to see what others have done!

Hunger

There are people in the world so hungry,
that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
~Mohandas Ghandi

Today, March 11, 2009, is Global Food Crisis Day.

I suspect that everyone who is reading this blog is doing so without feeling the effects of hunger. You're not worrying about whether your child will make it another day without food and you're not so very hungry that you can focus on nothing else. You've probably awoken today, had something for breakfast, and then began another day of work or whatever keeps you busy.

The life that you and I live is something that is completely foreign to many around the globe. In the time that it takes you to read this blog, 10 children in the world will draw their final breaths because of hunger-related issues. Tonight 1 in every 7 people will go to bed hungry.

This is truth. This is reality. This is life.

This is not your life but it is the life of those that you share this earth with. You might not be able to change the world but you can look for ways to change parts of it. Don't let today pass by without thinking of what difference you could make. Push yourself to connect with those who hunger. Acknowledge that they are husbands and wives and children and grandparents. They are very real people hurting in very real ways.

If you're looking for a way to make a difference, I encourage you to visit Compassion's Global Food Initiative website (or click the link on the right). They are actively engaged in reaching the least and loving them with the love of Christ by tangibly meeting their needs. You can join them in being Christ's hands and feet!

Remember the words of Jesus, "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." (Luke 12:48b) We have been entrusted with much and we must not close our eyes to those who desperately need help!

Wanted: Laughter

It has come to my attention that I am somewhat lacking in the inclusion of humor on this blog. My tag line is faith, laughter, and coffee but somewhere along the way this took a turn into being about faith all the time and rarely about laughter. It's always brought to you by the existence of coffee though so nothing to worry about there! :)

If you know me in real life then I would suspect that you know that I spend a lot of time laughing at a lot of things. I endlessly entertain myself with the craziness of my life and the humorous things that happen throughout my days. I have an equally big passion for the things of faith so it's not unusual at all for most every conversation to include a deep theological discussion bookended and interspersed with random, off-topic, just plain funny stuff.

My blog doesn't do a very good job of representing both sides of me. You might think that I'm serious all the time after reading this and perhaps that's partly because this is a place that I work things out and partly because I so want everyone to know how faith weaves itself through everything.

All this to say, I'm going to try to start finding opportunities to write about some other things. Maybe I'll even break out the camera and share with you some of my favorite shots. Or at the very least tell you something about the little pieces of my life that crack me up on a regular basis.

I guess it's all about balance and I've perhaps gone a little far one direction and want to bring it back towards the middle a bit. However, don't for a second think that I'm not going to be writing about the Lord. There's no getting away from it...He's the one constant in a life that's always changing. I'd be a blogging failure if I didn't share Him with you along the way!

So, changes are coming. We'll see where the next chapter of this book takes us! Thanks, as always, for coming along for the ride!

Gonna Have To Disagree

Who doesn't remember it? That touching moment where little Bambi meets up with the skunk and decides to call him Flower? Come on! So cute, so sweet, so precious! I mean, surely these little striped critters can't really smell too much, right?


Well, pardon me on this one but I'm going to have to disagree.

See, in a random incident (the type that tend to follow me around) I, or perhaps better yet, my car, became the recipient of an entire load of skunk yesterday. For the record, I didn't hit it. The big jeep in front of me did though and somehow it deposited the entire little animal's parting gift all over my car. Nice, huh? Although I'm certain it made for an entertaining show if the guy had just looked in his rearview mirror! :)

It was NOT GOOD.

At that point my car reeks both inside and out and I have no choice but to carry on with my day because if I'm late to class I will likely be killed and used as an experiment in coming weeks by my professor. I run home to feed Brady who is fascinated by the sudden smell-a-palooza coming from the area of the garage which I wouldn't even pull in to! Realize when I'm inside the house that it's possible that I also smell like skunk...or my nose just believes everything smells like skunk since my vehicle basically took a bath in it. Switch clothes quickly hoping that Brady doesn't decide to tear mine to pieces looking for whatever made THAT SMELL!!! Head to class just praying that it's really not me. Uneventful class (thank goodness) but the formaldehyde scent that permeates the classroom at all times might have given me an edge! :)

Head back home hoping to pass a car wash on the way. No such luck. Get home and seriously debate about whether it's disippated enough to park in the garage. Decide to chance it. Roommate and I discover that skunk travels through closed doors. Hmmm. Who has more fun than me? Not too bad though and I figured it will only get better with time! She puts up with a lot...and I promise that I'm not trying to run her off! :)

Wake up this morning and head to work. My friend and I always make a coffee run on Fridays and we discussed who should drive. I said I was willing to but that she should know that my car kind of smelled like skunk. I then rephrased: does smell like skunk. Don't think she believed me until she got in and asked, "Are you sure that it's not in the car?"

So, I've since driven around town with the windows open and gotten a car wash. Here's hoping that the worst is now behind us! All this to say though, Disney may have an incredible empire but they can't force me to ever believe that skunks and flowers smell the same! :) Unless we're talking about that weird corpse flower that smells like something died...then they might have something!

Just thought I'd share. Always an adventure with me!

Ducks

Last night I was talking with my roommate and while I can't remember the entire conversation that led up to it, I made this statement and it just stuck with me.

"I like all of my ducks in a row. God isn't like that. God likes ducks everywhere!"

It's kind of funny and it makes me laugh but it also reminds me of the biggest ongoing struggle in my relationship with the Lord. I like things to make sense. I like them to line up and be in order and be explainable. I find day after day that God just doesn't work like that. He has these plans and purposes and stories that are unpredictable and out there and zany. The harder I pursue my relationship with Him, the more I find that my life hardly resembles the logical path that I would have chosen.

This is hard for me to accept because I fight against the scattering of ducks! I envy those who are able to more quickly adapt to an ever-changing landscape and I think that they are probably more easily able to run with reckless abandon after the Lord. I long to be that way. I hate that I like things in boxes because the pain that I bring on myself by holding on to the boxes makes things really hard. I want to hold loosely to the stories in my life. I want to embrace the ducks wherever they are and stop trying to herd them into a line.

I want to let go of the rules and expectations and boxes and follow Him wherever He leads. I want to approach life in a more carefree manner resting in the knowledge that my path is directed by a God who adores me and has perfect plans and purposes for each thing that I encounter. I'm not saying that there isn't a time for order and planning but this walk through life isn't something that I have the ability to direct and it would be nice if I would start acting as though I know that's true!

I guess to sum it up, I love that He created this personality in me because I know He purposefully did so and He put me here for this time and place. However, I don't want to let it keep me from chasing after Him in complete surrender. I want to make sure that my life isn't becoming all about my plans but instead that it is always about His plans and following the light that He gives me for the moment I'm currently in.

Maybe today I'll take a little step and let some ducks run a little bit amok!

Stubborn

Ok, I think I have a problem.

I just read something about how God sometimes challenges us and it struck a chord with me. Yet, instead of stopping and pursuing it and pulling it out and examining my life and actions, I closed the website and said (out loud), "Nope, no way, I don't want to hear it."

Hmmm...anybody looking for a dose of conviction because I've got some that I'd like to pass on to others.

Since when do I act like a three-year old with her hands over her ears saying, "I can't hear you!"?

Obviously I've got some work to do.

Rats.

Missing It

Today I'm missing it. I'm fighting to see the silver lining in what is momentarily looking like clouds of rain. I'm attending the meetings and singing the songs and taking the notes but I'm missing it. I'm in a funk.

I don't know what's going on in my head. I feel like there must be something that's occupying my thoughts or making me fret but there's no thought that's popping to the surface. Instead I just seem to be struggling to make the connection.

I feel out of sorts with friends and church and work and school and maybe even a bit with God Himself. I'm just not clicking along on all cylinders and that makes the journey seem rough.

I know God is working. I'm seeing amazing proof of an active God in stories all over the place. Prayers that I have begged God to answer are being answered and most of them are being answered in amazingly blessed ways!

I know my life is full of beautiful things and experiences and relationships and I fully believe that I'm right where God has placed me for this season.

I know all this but today I think I'm missing it. My heart just hasn't been in it and I'm focused on the struggles instead of the God who allows them and provides in the midst of them.

I think this is my deal. It so often comes down to perspective in my life. I miss the forest for the trees. Pretty sure that's my deal now.

So I'm going to take the next little bit of time and try to look at the forest. I know God's so very big. I just need to step back and see Him for who He is. He's not limited by my sight, only I am.