Back on the Homefront

It's been two weeks since I stepped off a plane on my journey back from Kenya where I had been for 12 days.

When I first returned back I would have said that the trip to Kenya didn't change me very much - that it was wonderful and that I loved working with the people but that I didn't really sense a huge change in my thoughts. Now that more time has passed I realize that I have changed - in some ways for the better and perhaps in some ways for the worse.

I recognize with greater clarity the overwhelming abundance we live with here in America and yet see how much less happy we are than the Kenyans who own much less but rejoice much more. I struggle with this reality while knowing that God places each of us in our corner of the world for a reason - one is not better than the other, just different.

The struggle for sensing God's will for my life has grown larger in the time since I returned - the questions of how and where I spend my time and resources seem more pressing. My experiences in Kenya have made me think a lot about where I am and what skills I have and how best I should use those. While I have thoughts about what this might mean to me, I struggle with how to start the process of putting thoughts into action. I have to force myself to not overthink this journey and instead to step forward with faith even when I can only see a small light pointing in a direction. I suspect that these thoughts are not going to end anytime soon!

As I sit here today, weighed down by responsibilities and expectations, I miss Kenya. I miss the people that I met and worked with over there, both fellow Americans and Kenyan brothers and sisters. I love America and those that I walk through life with but there's much to be said about a journey across the globe. It makes the important things more clear and the less important things fade into the background.

I'm blessed by the opportunity that I had to travel there and hope someday to return. For now though, I carry on my journey on these shores, not knowing where I'll end up but only knowing that even when I didn't see it, I was being changed by my latest trek.