Not You

Confession time: When I'm working through big things in my life I tend to talk to God while I'm driving along the road. So, if you ever pass me and I appear to be engaged in a deep conversation with nobody, that's likely me just working things out with the Lord.

This opening is important because on the way home today I was talking to the Lord about some big issues in my life; struggles that I just can't seem to wrap up in a neat package and emotions that leave me frustrated and a bit down. So, I was just talking to God, getting things off my heart and I found myself saying, "It's not you, it's me." As soon as the words passed my lips it made me laugh because it was such a funny thing to say when conversing with God!

After I thought about it though I saw a couple of things that I can take away from that random line. The first has to do with the statement itself and the fact that it rarely is God that I can blame for the things in my life that I struggle with. So much more often it's my thoughts or feelings running amok that cause the trouble, not God wrecking havoc on my neatly (!?) ordered life! So the reality is that when I'm walking through yucky things, so often I need to be looking at my own part in them and making sure that I'm not trying to cast the blame towards Him.

The second has to do with the typical context of this phrase. We all know that it most often comes into play during the closing statements in a relationship (to refer to such tumultuous talk in such a lawyerly context doesn't seem right but it'll do for now). When thinking about this in relationship to God, I realized that there are times when I feel like throwing in the towel in our relationship and how crazy that really is. How could I ever think that the solution to anything is to 'break up' with the perfect, holy, awesome God of the universe and walk away on my own? This might work on a human level and leaving an ill-fated relationship may actually be the best choice but it's never going to be the best choice when it comes to the Lord! This all just made me think of how much I need to (and truthfully do) rely on God in all my days and how I need to make sure that no matter where my path leads that I'm not trying to walk it in my own power and leave God out of the picture.