Alexander and I

Some days just don't start out the way I want them to. There's nothing that I can point to as being wrong and I know deep in my heart and mind that I have nothing to complain about. Yet I am being grouchy.

Everything just seems a bit more overwhelming, a bit more frustrating, and a bit less in keeping with how I want it. Some might say it's just Mondays in general. Others might say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed (although that would imply that I slept in bed instead of on the couch last night which would be an incorrect implication). Either way, it would be simple enough to just chalk it up to a rough day, to say that situations just aren't aligning and that I should just wait until tomorrow for things to look a little brighter.

A tempting option, no doubt. Who doesn't sometimes just want to throw a pity party for the day and let everyone else deal with their bad mood until they're ready to be cheerful again?

I'm tempted to do the same, I really am. However, I honestly don't think I have a leg to stand on when I consider what I am called to live like as a believer in Christ. Last time I checked, there really isn't a picture of Jesus just being a jerk to people because He felt like it. He wasn't known for just blowing the annoying people off or for pouting in a corner when He didn't get His way. There's nowhere that I see Paul telling me that it's cool if I want to speak negatively, throw around a little bit of a fit, or generally have a foul attitude just because it's how I want to act.

The reality is that I'm called to a higher level. I'm called to be a light in the darkness, to be doing away with negativity and coarseness. I'm called to reach out in love and compassion to the most unlovely of people. It's not just a calling on the days when I feel like it, it's a calling every single day that God gives me.

So it leaves me wondering, how exactly do I fight against what I want to do and instead be the cheerful girl who focuses on the positive and doesn't just sit down in a pity pile? So I think about Jesus (which is always a good place to start). While there may not be stories of how He became frustrated or angry for no good reason, there are plenty of stories that show just how human He was and the Bible is quick to tell us that He was tempted in every way that we are. If that's true, what might He have been doing that would keep him from being a grumpy Gus?

I'm going to just guess here but I think that it has something to do with the way that He would retreat into solitude, how He would go off and spend time in prayer and meditation. Not just once but often. Regularly. On purpose. For long periods of time.

There's value in that. I know it because I've experienced it. Could I likely benefit from the same refocusing time? Absolutely! Could it help refine my attitude and turn me from selfishness to compassion and from negativity to optimism? It certainly couldn't hurt!

So perhaps today, instead of just giving in to the temptation to be a brat, I will take a bit more time to spend away from everyone, to put a bit more focused attention on the truth of the scripture, and to give a little more time to talk to my Father.

Oh, and Alexander? He can keep his terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day to himself! :)