Begging

I have thought so very much about prayer in the last couple of weeks. Thought of what it looks like in my life, of what God calls it to be in our lives, of what it accomplishes and what it doesn't. I am nowhere near a finite explanation of any of these things but the pondering has opened up some new places in my mind and led me down unexplored paths. Today I'll share just one of the many.

I found myself telling someone recently that we must pray. That we must pray and that we would beg God on our knees. As those words left my mouth I realized that I had more to say, that the sentence wasn't complete. So I continued on. We must beg God...on our knees...for His will...to match our desires.

You see, I am so very human. In the humanity, I long for things here on earth. There is healing I so hope for, souls that I long to be saved, earthly things that I still desire. Yet in my prayers, I tend to go one of two ways. Either I ask only for His will to be done. Or I ask only for my desires to be fulfilled. If I'm to choose, the first is where I'd rather land but the truth is that I believe that God is not just a God who gives the bare minimum to His children. Rather, I believe that He gives abundantly, heaping blessing upon blessing in our lives when we deserve absolutely nothing.

I don't want anything other than what God wills for my life or for the lives of others. That is the one thing I desire above all others. Yet, I also long for other things, some more 'holy' and some more temporary. So in this recent discussion of prayer, I found myself realizing that it's ok to have a desire and to bring in to the One who is sovereign and fulfills every need and watches over every care. Yet in the bringing, I want His will and His glory to be my first goal, my primary hope, the one thing that I want above everything else.

Sometimes though, there is such a sweetness in seeing the places where His will intersects my deepest cries. Those are the moments when I fall, yet again, in amazement and awe and worship, before the God who not only listens, but who cares enough to orchestrate our desires to match His when we give ourselves up fully to the opportunity. These are the moments that leave me ever more in love with my Lord and ever so much more willing to trust Him with all things in my life and the lives of those around me.

For He is faithful and He loves. That, friends, is the very best that life has to offer!