It's been two weeks since I stepped off a plane on my journey back from Kenya where I had been for 12 days.
When I first returned back I would have said that the trip to Kenya didn't change me very much - that it was wonderful and that I loved working with the people but that I didn't really sense a huge change in my thoughts. Now that more time has passed I realize that I have changed - in some ways for the better and perhaps in some ways for the worse.
I recognize with greater clarity the overwhelming abundance we live with here in America and yet see how much less happy we are than the Kenyans who own much less but rejoice much more. I struggle with this reality while knowing that God places each of us in our corner of the world for a reason - one is not better than the other, just different.
The struggle for sensing God's will for my life has grown larger in the time since I returned - the questions of how and where I spend my time and resources seem more pressing. My experiences in Kenya have made me think a lot about where I am and what skills I have and how best I should use those. While I have thoughts about what this might mean to me, I struggle with how to start the process of putting thoughts into action. I have to force myself to not overthink this journey and instead to step forward with faith even when I can only see a small light pointing in a direction. I suspect that these thoughts are not going to end anytime soon!
As I sit here today, weighed down by responsibilities and expectations, I miss Kenya. I miss the people that I met and worked with over there, both fellow Americans and Kenyan brothers and sisters. I love America and those that I walk through life with but there's much to be said about a journey across the globe. It makes the important things more clear and the less important things fade into the background.
I'm blessed by the opportunity that I had to travel there and hope someday to return. For now though, I carry on my journey on these shores, not knowing where I'll end up but only knowing that even when I didn't see it, I was being changed by my latest trek.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
Return to Reality
Yes, it's been ages since I last wrote. Yes, I do still remember that I have a blog out here. Yes, I know that the five people who read it are probably frustrated that I haven't written anything in over a month! Yes, I will try to be better! :)
I do apologize for the length of time between posts but in my defense, things in my world have been swirling like crazy and I was out of town for two weeks in there! Ok, enough excuses.
Today was my first day back at work after a week of forced vacation - that's something that sounds good until you realize you have to use your vacation days during the time designated by the company. It was hard to come back but I think that after a couple days things will start rolling again and I'll get back in the groove.
My week off was full of home improvement projects and I have to say that for as much work as I did, my home doesn't look much better than it did at the beginning of the week! My biggest struggle is the yard - a word I still use rather loosely especially in the front. I knew that I was in trouble when I learned how much it had rained but then I got a notice from the city telling me that my grass was too long. I had figured that I'd be ok because I didn't have a homeowner's association but it turns out that the city too can get in on the deal. Of course, I suspect that I have a neighbor to blame but I'm trying not to point fingers when I don't know if I should.
So, all this to say, things have been busy but I do want to continue writing to check back in to see what new things are going on in my world - I can't promise they'll always be thrilling but hopefully they'll entertain somewhat!
Thanks for checking back in - I'm happy to be back!
I do apologize for the length of time between posts but in my defense, things in my world have been swirling like crazy and I was out of town for two weeks in there! Ok, enough excuses.
Today was my first day back at work after a week of forced vacation - that's something that sounds good until you realize you have to use your vacation days during the time designated by the company. It was hard to come back but I think that after a couple days things will start rolling again and I'll get back in the groove.
My week off was full of home improvement projects and I have to say that for as much work as I did, my home doesn't look much better than it did at the beginning of the week! My biggest struggle is the yard - a word I still use rather loosely especially in the front. I knew that I was in trouble when I learned how much it had rained but then I got a notice from the city telling me that my grass was too long. I had figured that I'd be ok because I didn't have a homeowner's association but it turns out that the city too can get in on the deal. Of course, I suspect that I have a neighbor to blame but I'm trying not to point fingers when I don't know if I should.
So, all this to say, things have been busy but I do want to continue writing to check back in to see what new things are going on in my world - I can't promise they'll always be thrilling but hopefully they'll entertain somewhat!
Thanks for checking back in - I'm happy to be back!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
2-Second Day Brightener
I went to Starbucks today after stopping by the doctor's office to have some blood drawn - I figured I deserved the treat! :)
While I was there I watched no fewer than three customers take their drinks from the barista (so fancy to know what they're called) without so much as a smile, a word, or even eye contact. Now, I know that you might not always find the best humor at a coffee shop prior to consumers receiving their desired product and having found time to consume it. However, when did it become okay to not even see that it was a human being handing out your coveted drink? You would have thought that these people were walking up to a machine and having it dispense their cup o' Joe.
So, my solution to this is to stop wherever you are served by another person and take two seconds, just two, to do the following:
1. Make eye contact.
2. Smile.
3. Say, "Thank You."
4. Say, "Have a good day."
All this can be done in two seconds and I guarantee that not only will the recipient respond favorably, but it will brighten your day too! Think I'm crazy if you will but I challenge you to try it and see if it doesn't just put a smile on your face too.
Also, let's not forget that those who serve us are also those that we're called to serve. Let's not find ourselves not giving them the acknowledgment that they deserve simply for being people that God loves!
"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." - Proverbs 12:25
While I was there I watched no fewer than three customers take their drinks from the barista (so fancy to know what they're called) without so much as a smile, a word, or even eye contact. Now, I know that you might not always find the best humor at a coffee shop prior to consumers receiving their desired product and having found time to consume it. However, when did it become okay to not even see that it was a human being handing out your coveted drink? You would have thought that these people were walking up to a machine and having it dispense their cup o' Joe.
So, my solution to this is to stop wherever you are served by another person and take two seconds, just two, to do the following:
1. Make eye contact.
2. Smile.
3. Say, "Thank You."
4. Say, "Have a good day."
All this can be done in two seconds and I guarantee that not only will the recipient respond favorably, but it will brighten your day too! Think I'm crazy if you will but I challenge you to try it and see if it doesn't just put a smile on your face too.
Also, let's not forget that those who serve us are also those that we're called to serve. Let's not find ourselves not giving them the acknowledgment that they deserve simply for being people that God loves!
"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." - Proverbs 12:25
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Weathering the Storm
Today my timing was off.
I stalled at my house thinking that whatever storm was turning my house to night and requiring me to turn on the lights to find my shoes would blow over before I had to leave. Well, after about 15 minutes I decided to try the other tactic and see if I could make it to work before the rain came down. I was wrong. I ended up trekking to work through the worst part of the storm which had not been my goal!
This was one of those storms that cut the visibility to almost nothing and was accompanied by lots of wind and many lightening bolts. I drove through it praying the whole time that I would safely make it to work and struggling to not let my anxiety grab hold too much. With a couple of narrow misses, I arrived safely and was able to get into my building.
While a storm is not an unusual occurrence, being face to face with this one made me think about how I always have a choice in how I'll respond when a storm blows into my life. Storms tend to arise in so many areas, whether physically appearing on the horizon and dumping buckets of rain or showing up in the spiritual realm and leaving me drenched in unexpected emotion and doubt. When each one comes, I have a choice to run around in fear, frantically trying to make sure that I'm controlling each aspect of my environment or I can choose to press on through it, holding tight to the Lord as my stable point in a shaky world.
I find that the more I take the second approach, the less phased I am by the storms I encounter. Sure, some of them knock me down and leave me reeling but I am seeing that through the years, my response to turn to the Lord is becoming more instinctual and I'm weathering things with more faith and less doubt. I think this is one area where practice does make perfect and while I doubt I'll ever get to the place where nothing can topple me, I do believe that the more I lean into the Lord, the more I am able to stand up through the winds. Today's storm was just another reminder of the fact that I can find peace in the middle of anything that may happen around me as long as I look up and not around.
I'll leave you with the lyrics to an excellent song that I've been hearing a lot lately by Mercy Me. It's called "Bring the Rain" and seems appropriate for today:
"I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain"
I stalled at my house thinking that whatever storm was turning my house to night and requiring me to turn on the lights to find my shoes would blow over before I had to leave. Well, after about 15 minutes I decided to try the other tactic and see if I could make it to work before the rain came down. I was wrong. I ended up trekking to work through the worst part of the storm which had not been my goal!
This was one of those storms that cut the visibility to almost nothing and was accompanied by lots of wind and many lightening bolts. I drove through it praying the whole time that I would safely make it to work and struggling to not let my anxiety grab hold too much. With a couple of narrow misses, I arrived safely and was able to get into my building.
While a storm is not an unusual occurrence, being face to face with this one made me think about how I always have a choice in how I'll respond when a storm blows into my life. Storms tend to arise in so many areas, whether physically appearing on the horizon and dumping buckets of rain or showing up in the spiritual realm and leaving me drenched in unexpected emotion and doubt. When each one comes, I have a choice to run around in fear, frantically trying to make sure that I'm controlling each aspect of my environment or I can choose to press on through it, holding tight to the Lord as my stable point in a shaky world.
I find that the more I take the second approach, the less phased I am by the storms I encounter. Sure, some of them knock me down and leave me reeling but I am seeing that through the years, my response to turn to the Lord is becoming more instinctual and I'm weathering things with more faith and less doubt. I think this is one area where practice does make perfect and while I doubt I'll ever get to the place where nothing can topple me, I do believe that the more I lean into the Lord, the more I am able to stand up through the winds. Today's storm was just another reminder of the fact that I can find peace in the middle of anything that may happen around me as long as I look up and not around.
I'll leave you with the lyrics to an excellent song that I've been hearing a lot lately by Mercy Me. It's called "Bring the Rain" and seems appropriate for today:
"I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain"
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Full Circle
I've been challenged for the last month by many friends to come back to the world of writing - to not stay lost in Boston (as they have so eloquently put it) where my last post left me.
After some (ok, a lot) of thought, I've decided to return and see what I might have to share again as I move along my paths.
Blogging is a funny thing - you start it thinking that you're just going to send your words out into the world with no ramifications but at the same time, the fact that you're writing to the world without specific targets makes the entire proposition a little scary. Over the course of the last month I've had people discuss why blogs are both good and bad and I've read a couple of articles about blogging that have really made me stop and think. One such article comes from the Pulpit online magazine and I encourage you to read this if you're writing (or thinking of doing so): (http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/25/the-blog-in-our-eyes-part-1/).
At the end of all this thinking, I've come to realize that blogging is an imperfect art. There's no guarantee that what I have to say will be well received or received at all. There's no promise of a solution to life's problems and there's no quick and easy fix for the struggles we all face.
However, for what it's worth, I still have the same aim that I had when I first sat down at this computer and began to write. That aim is to glorify God along my road and hopefully to lead each person who reads my words into a bigger understanding of who He is.
With that being said, if I ever fail at this point, I ask you to please contact me. I may not be able to control all the thoughts that you might think as you read this but I really hope that I might be able to be a friend on the other side of your screen and I'd love to be able to encourage you to walk in the truth and most definitely to answer any questions you might have.
So, I'll leave you now but I hope to share a new story soon and you can rest assured for the moment that I've returned safely from Boston and continue on with my daily life!
After some (ok, a lot) of thought, I've decided to return and see what I might have to share again as I move along my paths.
Blogging is a funny thing - you start it thinking that you're just going to send your words out into the world with no ramifications but at the same time, the fact that you're writing to the world without specific targets makes the entire proposition a little scary. Over the course of the last month I've had people discuss why blogs are both good and bad and I've read a couple of articles about blogging that have really made me stop and think. One such article comes from the Pulpit online magazine and I encourage you to read this if you're writing (or thinking of doing so): (http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/25/the-blog-in-our-eyes-part-1/).
At the end of all this thinking, I've come to realize that blogging is an imperfect art. There's no guarantee that what I have to say will be well received or received at all. There's no promise of a solution to life's problems and there's no quick and easy fix for the struggles we all face.
However, for what it's worth, I still have the same aim that I had when I first sat down at this computer and began to write. That aim is to glorify God along my road and hopefully to lead each person who reads my words into a bigger understanding of who He is.
With that being said, if I ever fail at this point, I ask you to please contact me. I may not be able to control all the thoughts that you might think as you read this but I really hope that I might be able to be a friend on the other side of your screen and I'd love to be able to encourage you to walk in the truth and most definitely to answer any questions you might have.
So, I'll leave you now but I hope to share a new story soon and you can rest assured for the moment that I've returned safely from Boston and continue on with my daily life!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
