19 Cent Integrity

It was a quick stop at the store, just a couple things on the list and I'd be back out the door and headed for home. It was almost 5:00 and I knew that rush hour was starting and, quite frankly, I was tired and ready to call it a day.

It was Kroger and I know the store well so I grabbed everything and quickly made my way to the front. I paused to pick up some flowers (inconsequential to this tale but they make me happy and now that'll be recorded too) and then got into the self-checkout line. I rang up everything, dealt with a coupon, and paid. All was well and then as I put my bags in the cart I spotted it: the lone tomato that had escaped my bag.

I saw it and then I scooped it up and put it in my bag, surreptitiously and knowing even as I did that I had certainly not paid for that little sucker. Almost immediately my instinctive (read that as sinful) nature kicked in and I thought, "Hey, it's just one tomato, I didn't do it on purpose, I'd never steal intentionally. It's just not a big deal."

I had a choice. In that one moment I knew that I was faced with an option. Did I stop, drag out everything and pay for that one lonely tomato or did I just call it a day and not worry about it?

I did have a choice. Nobody would have noticed. It wouldn't have caused some accounting disaster. It wouldn't have made a difference to anyone.

I realized though, it did make a difference to me. It was important because while I actually don't know who is watching my actions here on this planet (but for the record, probably more people than I'd guess) I most assuredly do believe that there is a God to whom I will have to one day give an account for every careless, sinful action that I've committed. I could have added to that already long list today.

Instead, I stopped, pulled that tomato out and paid 19 cents to know that one day when I stand before a very holy and righteous God, I will not have to talk about that lonely tomato.

Today, my integrity cost 19 cents. Tomorrow, it could cost me everything. I hope I'll consider no price too large to pay but, for now, I'm thankful that I chose well on this day.

I just hope that with each choice I make I'm becoming less likely to disregard sin in my life no matter how small I might consider it and that with each decision, I'm becoming more like Him.

Go!

So perhaps I decided to take a couple days off and start the new year up when I returned to work. Perhaps! :)

It's here though, this brand new year. It's four days old and I'm already loving so many moments and also already wondering at various things that God is showing me and working on in me. Oddly enough, exactly the same things that were going on a week ago!

I do have some thoughts about what I hope this year will hold though, thoughts that I'm willing to put out here for my two readers to know! :) Some might call these goals or resolutions but I look at them more as areas of focus, things that I want to purposefully draw my attention towards in the days to come. None of these is some new, lofty pursuit but rather things that God has been working on in me for months, sometimes years already!

First, I want to work on being faithful in all of the things that God has placed in my life today. In relationships and jobs, in stewardship and time management, in all of the areas of my life where I've at times become lazy and inattentive. I want to live out Luke 16:10, which I am taking somewhat out of context but which I believe is applicable for all areas of life. It says, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." I want to reflect faithfulness in the smallest of areas so that I might be further refined for whatever God needs of me in the future. It is one of my desires for this year.

Second, I want to practice compassion towards all. I want my actions and attitude to be one of love towards all I encounter, not just the lovely or those who are dear to me. I want to be thoughtful of the way that I bear His light in this world and seek to live outside myself much more often.

Third, I desire that prayer would become an area of focus in my days. I have found myself guilty of not allotting much time to the spiritual disciplines and I desire for my life to be defined by my time with the Lord pursuing Him in prayer, study, fasting, and other disciplines. Prayer particularly is an area that I want to grow more diligent in but each of these disciplines deserves more of my time and effort so that God might show me His character and change me to better resemble it.

Fourth, I want to purposefully cultivate my artistic abilities and my imagination by spending time taking pictures, reading, pulling out my instruments, writing and other such things. I want to aim for depth in my thoughts and writings and I want to allow God to develop big dreams for my life and my days.

Fifth, I want to be very purposeful towards relationships in my life. I want to be intentional, diligent, and willing to invest my time and energy into those around me. I have become ever so aware that this life is not about me and that if I choose to live in solidarity I will one day have no one to turn to when I am in need of encouragement or help. Friendships are a huge blessing given by the Lord and I want to especially be faithful with those He has given.

Sixth, and probably the one I like the least, is that I want to practice living a life of risk. Not in stupid ways or dangerous ways but rather embracing the idea of learning to let go and allow control to be beyond my grasp in order to learn a greater dependence on the Lord. I don't like not being safe and even though I've grown in this in a lot of ways over the past couple of years, it is still something that I struggle with. I like things to be defined and calculated and safe and while I experience dependence on God, I feel as though I limit His capability to move in my life as I continue to hold on to what feels comfortable. In my head I know that risk is important to life but when it comes down to action, I am not always able to let go of the line and fall into His arms completely. I desire growth in this area even though the acknowledgment of the desire opens me up to the reality of having to truly embrace it and go in places that are hard.

These are six areas that I know I want to continue to focus on in the coming months and now seems like as good of a time as any to identify them and write about them. I'm certain that you'll see these concepts revisited in the days to come and I'd love for you to challenge me and call me out if you see that I'm falling short in these (or really any other area).

I also want to take just a moment to push you. Take some time and identify where you sense God challenging you and calling you to bigger things. Sit down and think about your life, look at those areas and see what you might be able to focus on in the months to come. In all reality, January 1st is just another day but sometimes it's good to sit down and seek out what God might be doing in your life that needs a bit more of your attention.

Finally, in closing what is a really long post here, I want you to know that this is my prayer for you this year:

But you, dear friends, carefully build yourselves up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God's love, keeping your arms open and outstretched, ready for the mercy of our Master, Jesus Christ. This is the unending life, the real life!
~Jude 1:20-21

May we gather next year and recount what God has done in our lives as we passionately pursue Him and His heart and allow Him to daily refine us to be better bearers of His name!

Go in peace into 2010 and may God rule your every moment!

Mercy Remains

A thousand times I fail
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Thank you Hillsong for yet again using this song to speak truth into my life.

Right now I'm in a season of a lot of failings and stumblings and just trying to keep my head above water when the combined stress of work and school and life are threatening to take me under. If there's one thing I hate about my job it's the stress that it brings to the Christmas season. It makes me so much less of the person I want to be and truthfully, right now, I just miss my time with Jesus so badly that I could just cry. I know that this season will pass and my schedule will relax and my classes will end and my program will be delivered. Yet in the middle of it, I'm just so very sad that I don't have the time to just sit and be still and reflect and engage and celebrate. Instead it's rushing and organizing and long hours at a computer.

In these days, I feel like I'm just stumbling...constantly.

I needed to hear that mercy and grace still hold me close. Even when I am feeling frustratingly overwhelmed. God is still good. Someday, I pray my life won't look like this in December. For now though, I'm just going to rest for just one moment (because it's all I have) to remember that God still catches me when I fall and carries me when I can't go another step. He's truly the best.

And now back to work...

Hard

Life is hard.

Sometimes it's because I'm being so very self-centered. Sometimes it's because the sorrows carried by others are overwhelming. Sometimes it's because I'm tired. Sometimes it's because I've lost perspective and can't seem to find my way out.

This week just seems heavy. Trying to pick up pieces and carry them to God and leave them there. It's not working out as well as I wish. I suppose there are things to learn in the midst.

The biggest lesson: this too shall pass and God will always be faithful.

The Fight

Be prepared.
You're up against far more than you can handle on your own.
Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet.
~Ephesians 6:13

Really glad today that even when I'm not as prepared for the battles as I ought to be that God still gives me help and allows me to have hope that when the dust settles, I might still be standing through His power and strength.

Far more than I can handle...that's how I feel today. Don't know why. It just is.

The Way We Live

We all have...current relationships and responsibilities we can too easily take for granted. If we're wise, we'll see our duties not as unimportant ways to bide our time, but as springboards, launching us into God's plan and purpose for our future.
~Joshua Harris

God's various gifts are handed out everywhere; but they all originate in God's Spirit. God's various ministries are carried out everywhere; but they all originate in God's Spirit. God's various expressions of power are in action everywhere; but God himself is behind it all. Each person is given something to do that shows who God is:
Everyone gets in on it, everyone benefits.
~1 Corinthians 12:4-7

I love it when I run across two things that both speak to the same topic! These also go along so well with my thoughts of yesterday and I wanted to share them too!

I sense such a challenge in my life and the lives of those I know to make good use of the moments that we're given. Perhaps you wish that you were in a different place, with a different person, in a different stage of life. I hate to have to write it, but our wishing won't change anything!

There's another option for us instead of just pointlessly wishing for things that aren't in our lives at the moment. Instead, what if we fully embraced these moments we have, realizing that every aspect of our lives and personalities and places are things that God himself is behind? What if in every choice we made we remembered the last part of the above verse, that each person is given something to do that shows who God is?

How different would our lives, our thoughts, our world look if we began to live like this? How many of us are created for such awesome things and miss them because we take our moments and days and years for granted, focusing on things that may or may not come and not engaging in the here and now?

I just wonder. For myself and for others.

God, help me be different in the way I live.

In The Doing

We find greatest joy, not in getting, but in expressing what we are.... People do not really live for honors or for pay; their gladness is not the taking and holding, but in doing, the striving, the building, the living.... The happy person is the one who lives the life of love, not for the honors it may bring, but for the life itself.
~ R.J. Baughan

This quote made me think of the following wisdom that Paul shares with us in Ephesians 2:10:

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,
which God prepared in advance for us to do.

You and I, we've been created to do. We're not just here to pass the time or count the hours. We're here for the accomplishment of the acts of living, the acts of embracing every moment given to us by God for the purposes of His kingdom. We're not here to just be or collect or exist. We're here to live abundantly full lives, enabled and determined by a God who loves us because we are His and He made us for these moments.

I want to make sure that in every circumstance I'm striving to live a life marked by doing and experiencing and embracing. Let my life be characterized by the doing of the works that God made me to do!

Understanding

"[M]uch of the Christian life is spent trusting Jesus now and understanding him later."
-Jon Bloom

This sentence may sum up so much of the tension I feel as I try to walk in step with the Lord. It's not that I don't want to follow, it's not that I don't love Him. It's just that I long for understanding, oftentimes more than I long to trust.

From the time I was little, my desire for instant gratification has led me in frustrating paths of dissatisfaction and disillusionment. It's been one of those things that I've had to push up against and challenge as I've grown older and I'm no longer as impetuous when making a large purchase or so hasty to complete a task. Yet I still fight against the requirement to trust Him and walk with Him now while knowing that understanding is not in reach, or at least not guaranteed to be close by.

So I grow bit by bit in this walk, learning that it's not really His understanding I truly need, but rather, it's just Him. Or perhaps, more eloquently stated, "Our understanding his purposes in a particular providence tends to be not as important to God as our trust in his character." (Jon Bloom)

*All quotes from this article.

Tuesday

I've been wondering about some things recently and trying to figure out what I'm being called towards and sent from and simply being a bit uncertain about what's next to come in my life. That's a pretty concise explanation but I'm not sure how best to put such thoughts into words. What I really wanted to share are the verses and quote that were on my little daily calendars for this date, this uneventful Tuesday in September. As I work things out in these days I found these to be a 'coincidental' reminder of God's plans and purposes. Maybe they'll encourage you today as well!

Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal.
~John 12:24-25 (The Message)

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
~Psalm 27:13-14

Don't wait to feel thankful, just give thanks anyway. Gradually this act of will is bound to change the attitude of mind and heart.
~Margaret Evening

The Wonder of It All

Few words, many thoughts, long stretches of time.

I'm not uninspired to write, just unsure of what to communicate. This seems to be a season of life where I'm continually learning more about who I am and being stretched in new directions and put through new paces. It's powerful and stressful (at moments) and incredible.

We do not stay the same. Not a single one of us is exactly as we were yesterday and tomorrow we'll be just ever so slightly different. Whether you believe in God or whether you don't, this is true. Whether you're a guy or a girl, this is true. It really doesn't matter one little bit where you come from or where you've been, this is true simply because we're human beings.

Now here's what's amazing to me today:

My life is always in motion. The characters come and go, the surroundings change, the goals are modified, daily expectations shift, the dreams are bigger, the trials more intense, the joys even more consuming. Motion everywhere.

Yet, in the center of all of it, my identity is found unmovable. Unmovable because almost 16 years ago I made a choice to follow Christ. The journey that began over half a lifetime ago (yes, that's some good math there) has been nothing short of incredible in its movement but has always maintained that tether to the One who doesn't change.

Today I'm just in awe of the wonder around this. That this verse would be true of me leaves me amazed: How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1)

What an identity. What a future. What a promise.

What a rock to hold on to regardless of what may swirl around.

Life is beautiful in its journeys. Today I'm appreciating that all over again!

Quiet

I have nothing pressing to say, no profound wisdom to offer, no crisis to dissect or celebration to herald. I suspect that's why so many days pass without me finding words to write on these 'pages'. It's a funny thing, when life becomes quiet, the need to share becomes less important.

It's not that things aren't good. In fact, I would venture to say that these have been some of the most wonderful days I've ever walked through. So maybe it'd be just the opposite. In the good, there's not always much that's exciting and that makes me less prone to share!

And now, while I didn't plan to have anything deep to share, I see a correlation that I'll just point out. Often, this same mindset drives my relationship with the Lord. I run to Him when things get rough and I don't know which way to turn. I'll press in, finding security and peace and joy through that relationship. Then, eventually, the pressure eases and I take some steps on my own, not holding on quite so tightly as I did before.

I will never understand this mindset in me. I will never get how I can believe for a moment that I can walk through my life without hanging onto the Lord. Yet I do it time and again and then something happens and I run back to Him.

If this cycle does not reflect only my great unfaithfulness and God's great faithfulness then I've missed the mark completely. That He continues to welcome me back, hold me close, and restore me is utterly amazing. In my pride and self-sufficiency, I deserve no grace. Yet at every turn, I am shown grace.

I hope that I never cease to be amazed.

Summertime

Somehow another month is starting to draw to a close and I'm simply standing amazed that I've marked off yet another set of days! This month has had challenges as I've navigated through it on crutches in my super-stylish boot but overall things are great!

I've finished my semester at school and have been thoroughly enjoying the break in my schedule to do a whole lot of nothing and also to spend time with people I love! It's been such a blessing to have my calendar wide open to whatever opportunities present themselves!

I'm not looking forward to returning to the classroom next fall but for the first time in many years, summer has real meaning! :) I did manage to pull off an A in my extremely challenging class though so I'm thinking that all the hours spent at my dining room table studying were worth it! I've never worked so hard for a grade in my life. It's all steps in this journey for me but I'm so very excited about what God has in store for the next moments and days! I believe that there is so much good and I simply want to cherish every moment that He gives!

Living out loud, arms open to possibilities, singing at the top of my lungs, twirling under the stars. That's how I'm feeling these days! Hope your moments are just as joyous!

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
~Psalm 16:11

Detours

There is some funny irony in the fact that I wrote about taking risks on Friday and later that day I decided to do something I normally might not and ended up in the emergency room. No major problems but I'm not going to be running marathons anytime in the near future! :)

The thing is though, even though the result wasn't what I would have chosen, I still kind of think that the risk I took was probably worth it. It was a bit of a freak accident but I was having fun up until it happened and I really do believe that God will use even my current situation for good. I know that it is pushing me out of my chosen comfort zone and forcing me to evaluate, yet again, what I truly find my identity in. Funny how lessons I think I've learned often show up in different forums as I move through life! It's also showing me how truly blessed I am with the relationships I have in my world and how amazing it is to yet again see the body of Christ working together!

I'm not going to say that it's been all roses (and my deepest apologies to anyone who has had to deal with me being grumpy) but I do know that there are lessons to be learned even in the challenges. Sometimes it's good for me to be pushed down a bit so that I can truly put into practice those things that I tend to talk about a lot. This journey isn't coming to a quick end I'm afraid but I hope that through it all I can find ways to minister to others while allowing them to minister to me. Sometimes it's hard to not want to throw myself a pity party but I'm really going to try to avoid it (and feel free to call me on it if you see me going down that road). I'm finding silver linings and working through what is really only a very small detour in a path that I don't even see clearly most of the time!

Oh yeah, and if anyone wonders, it's not as if this is a surprise to God so I'm quite certain He'll use it for His purposes if I don't become a big sourpuss! God's just cool like that.

So, I still say that you should take risks. I might recommend you don't fall off a wall though! :)

Beaten

My goodness it's been one of those days...and it's only 11:35.

Makes me wonder what it would take to get out of work for the rest of the day...vial of plague? sick dog/roommate/squirrel outside the window? brain oozing out from my ears? bursting into tears when someone asks what time it is?

Hmmm...not sure any of those would really work but if I had a card to play, today I think I'd play it.

It's all the result of too much work, too few people, and me scurrying around like a mouse on crack trying to dot all the i's and cross all the t's.

In a word, icky.

I need a laugh and some stress relief and maybe a big hug.

Guess I'll settle for closing down IM so nobody can find me without coming to my office and maybe turning off the lights and just pretending I'm not here.

Such grace under pressure. Or something...

Happy Trust

Do not let this happy trust in the Lord die away, no matter what happens. Remember your reward! You need to keep on patiently doing God's will if you want him to do for you all that he has promised.
~Hebrews 10:35-36 (TLB)

No
Matter
What
Happens

This means always. This means that the situations and circumstances and joy and pain are not capable of eliminating our trust in the Lord. There is nothing outside of us that can force us to lose hope in our God.

Yet in all things we have a choice. We are able to decide that in our case, God can not handle things. We can choose to believe that He is incapable of meeting our needs or hearing our cries or loving us regardless of our sin. We can decide this but our circumstances can't force us to make that decision.

On the flip side, we can also choose to do as this verse says. To focus on what is to come and the promises that await and the eternal hope that God provides. We can choose to align ourselves with this truth and disregard those voices that tell us that God isn't who He says He is. It's not always easy. Our lives are hard. I would never disagree with that, never.

We're not without hope though. We're not without faith. We're not without trust.

May my every moment and conversation and relationship reflect that I believe this to be true with everything I have. Then my happy trust is based on the one thing that will never let me down and my joy is abundant and sincere.

And that's what living can look like.

It's your choice and mine.

Ducks

Last night I was talking with my roommate and while I can't remember the entire conversation that led up to it, I made this statement and it just stuck with me.

"I like all of my ducks in a row. God isn't like that. God likes ducks everywhere!"

It's kind of funny and it makes me laugh but it also reminds me of the biggest ongoing struggle in my relationship with the Lord. I like things to make sense. I like them to line up and be in order and be explainable. I find day after day that God just doesn't work like that. He has these plans and purposes and stories that are unpredictable and out there and zany. The harder I pursue my relationship with Him, the more I find that my life hardly resembles the logical path that I would have chosen.

This is hard for me to accept because I fight against the scattering of ducks! I envy those who are able to more quickly adapt to an ever-changing landscape and I think that they are probably more easily able to run with reckless abandon after the Lord. I long to be that way. I hate that I like things in boxes because the pain that I bring on myself by holding on to the boxes makes things really hard. I want to hold loosely to the stories in my life. I want to embrace the ducks wherever they are and stop trying to herd them into a line.

I want to let go of the rules and expectations and boxes and follow Him wherever He leads. I want to approach life in a more carefree manner resting in the knowledge that my path is directed by a God who adores me and has perfect plans and purposes for each thing that I encounter. I'm not saying that there isn't a time for order and planning but this walk through life isn't something that I have the ability to direct and it would be nice if I would start acting as though I know that's true!

I guess to sum it up, I love that He created this personality in me because I know He purposefully did so and He put me here for this time and place. However, I don't want to let it keep me from chasing after Him in complete surrender. I want to make sure that my life isn't becoming all about my plans but instead that it is always about His plans and following the light that He gives me for the moment I'm currently in.

Maybe today I'll take a little step and let some ducks run a little bit amok!

Desire

Worship the Lord your God and only the Lord your God. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness.
~Luke 4:8

How much I desire to live a life that could be defined by this verse! I was driving home this evening singing the song "From The Inside Out"* by Hillsong at the top of my lungs and as I sang the chorus, I thought of how much I desire to pursue Christ with everything that I have but, at the very same moment, I was overwhelmed by the reality of how often I stop short of that goal.

I am quickly blown off course by busy schedules, random thoughts, and unanswered questions. I find myself trying yet again to put pieces together that God hasn't moved and then wondering how in the world I'm supposed to figure out what to do next. Clue phone: I'm not supposed to be figuring out that stuff. I'm supposed to be focusing on what He's put in front of me today (but that's a discussion for a whole other post).

I long to pursue God and not falter along the road but I feel like I find myself so often sitting on the shoulder picking daisies instead of chasing after Him. Frustrating story and one that I seem to be content to keep writing.

I guess when I step back I have to say that I've made progress on this journey and perhaps I'm just expecting to microwave my spiritual life along with my career life and relational life and every other aspect of life. Perhaps I'm too hard on myself and I need to not forget how far the Lord has already brought me. It's possible.

However, I also think that it's possible that I need to keep recognizing when I fall and stop running as I know I should. Those times when I entertain thoughts of slowing down and giving up and settling for the immediately available. See, if I ever have hopes of living the life I claim to want, then I can't stop disciplining myself towards that goal.

I may never reach it (in fact, I really don't expect to in this life) but I continuously want to be challenged by verses that remind me of where I want to run so that I can keep modifying my steps to follow that path. So, when I wake up tomorrow, I want to remember this verse and set my heart and mind wholly on God so that I might come even closer to saying that I worship and serve only Him single-heartedly!

*This is one seriously awesome song. If you haven't heard it (or if you just need to be encouraged), do yourself a favor and check this out:

Lyrics

As I'm certain I've said before, I adore music. I particularly love the lyrics in songs that I listen to and sometimes I really just sense that God puts certain songs in my world to speak to where I find myself at that moment. I've run into several interesting lyrics recently and just thought I'd share.

First, from the song "I Would Die For You" by Mercy Me:
And I pray that You will use my life
In whatever way Your name is glorified
Even if surrendering means leaving everything behind

Second, from the song "Until I See You Again" by Mark Schultz:
Live with the wonder of a child
Pray with your arms thrown open wide
Love with a love that has no end

Finally, from the song "Healer" by Mike Guglielmucci:
I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

All of these songs are powerful but these are the words that really struck me this last week. This life is challenging but I'm so blessed by a God who uses words to speak to my heart and draw me back to Him. He truly is everything to me and my only hope is that my life reflects this every single day. I long for Him to be glorified even in my utter weakness. How He accomplishes that, I'll let Him determine. I just hope that it's apparent to those I speak with, live with, and worship with that I love Him first!

Present

I'm not sure what my deal is this week. I'm here at work, I'm awake, I've got programs open and I'm doing things that need to get done. Then I'm at home and I'm talking, reading, drinking tea, and going to bed.

I'm everywhere that I'm supposed to be, doing everything that I'm supposed to do, but I'm just present.

You probably couldn't really tell. It's not hugely apparent. It bugs me though.

There's more to life than being able to describe it like this:


Perhaps it's the midwinter funk. Perhaps it's the post-Christmas letdown. Perhaps it's the weather.

Not sure. Here's hoping to break this streak really soon!

Slow Start

For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
~T.S. Eliot

Here we are, 5 days into the new year already! Five days and nary a post. Somewhat unbelievable given the number of thoughts that race through my head on any given day! :)

The time has come though. It's time to write again!

My exuberance for this year has not yet waned. Resolutions have been only half-way formulated and I'm thoroughly enjoying my quest to identify a theme verse or song or quote. I'm starting things off slowly which is perhaps a good thing given the fact that I know things are about to pick up and a whirlwind of activity will ensue! The busyness of life is beckoning but in these moments I am holding it at arm's length and enjoying cozy evenings of reading and writing and snuggling with the dog (the so very spoiled dog who slept on the bed last night because I'm weak and miss the cat which is a totally different story) and chatting with my roommate (because sleep is less important than laughter).

Five days into it, I feel like I'm still waiting to figure out this year's voice. To begin to hear the songs that God is singing around and over me and to sense His direction and calling on the upcoming days. My path is curiously unlit and yet I sense a distant horizon. I'm poised here on the edge of 360 more days and I am believing God for some amazing things. Today I'm not sure what's going to happen tomorrow. I don't know what roads my feet will journey down or where I'll be in the end.

However, I am assured of some things. First, God will be faithful even if all else fails. Second, my path will be illuminated when I need to see the next step. Third, there are going to be incredible stories in these days. Fourth and final, where I have come from equips me to walk where I have yet to go.

So as this new year begins and used up calendars are tossed out and winter starts to become spring, let's all remember that the end of the old is the beginning of the new and it's time to embrace the life that God means for us to live. Life in abundance. It's what He gives and I am so very excited to see just what that means in 2009!

A most happy new year to all of you and it's my prayer that you'll walk closer with God in the coming days than ever before!